About the Show

I was sitting in a music history class sometime near the end of my
undergraduate degree, and I was bored out of my mind. It wasn't just
that I couldn't get excited about a four minute mellisma from a
Machaut mass, but mainly that the professor was a woman from
Hungary who had the thickest accent I had heard, and unfortunately,
I couldn't understand a word she said. To be honest, Bela Lugosi, the
Hungarian actor who played Dracula, wouldn't have been able to
understand her either.

So, my mind wandered….

Noticing two other students in the class, who were complete
opposites, I started to daydream. One student, about fifteen years
older than the rest of us, had a boisterous, dominant personality. She
was a full adult at the time, and had inherited a large sum of money
from her parent's hotels in San Francisco, so she felt justified
assigning herself the leader of every group, committee or
performance that she was involved in. This woman was very large in
stature, and filled a lot of space--physically and otherwise.

The other student who attracted my attention was a tiny "bow-tie"
tenor. When he sang, he sounded exactly like he looked: small and
tight. He possessed an uncanny reverence for the details insofar as
his performances were very clean and tidy, and yet, always delivered
in a glorified squeak. As I watched him, I realized that he was the only
student in the class who seemed engaged in the lecture, since he was
executing appropriately timed, affirmative head nods between the
"blah blahs," and was frantically taking notes on his leather
embossed notepad.

So, my mind wandered…

I had to come up with something. The previous year, I had written my first attempt of a show called "Carmen's Underpants." Although my twenty or so minute satire, loosely inspired by the opera Carmen, was a scene and a half of mostly crap, it was a huge success among my peers. What started as a college prank, and more importantly, an attempt to gain attention from a violin player that I was infatuated with, had risen to cult status in my circle of friends. The pressure of their expectations was heavy. If only I could come up with a plot idea, I knew I could create another sensation and not disappoint my fellow students.

So, my mind wandered…

"Wouldn't it be hilarious, I thought to myself, to see that little squeaky tenor getting a spanking from that large, brazen woman?" What if the little guy accidentally became stranded in a whore house controlled by women, where the men were whores, and was forced into a life as a male concubine? As I visualized the tiny tenor lying across her knees, I chuckled and wondered if they would do it. Well, they were actors who loved attention a bit more than theater, and were thrilled that I offered them parts in my new musical. Luckily for me, they never realized they were playing themselves. I had found my inspiration, and Momma Don't Hurt Me So Bad was conceived.

Years later, and after many additions and revisions of the original material, Momma Don't Hurt Me So Bad has enjoyed successful runs in Seattle, Chicago, Cincinnati, St. Louis, and San Francisco. It has always been presented as an underground fringe theater event preformed by my local friends. This recording marks the beginning of a campaign to legitimize the show and release it as a commercial theatrical entity. As your host, I hope you enjoy the music and get a few laughs from the offensive, yet good natured lyrics.

"So, listen to your Momma, and she'll steer you the right way. Now take your meat upstairs and leave your money in the tray!"

Tod Rainey

 

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